Secretly Anxious, Secretly Claustrophobic, So I Took A Flight

Two years ago, my boyfriend and I were on a trip in Vietnam. We were in Da Lat and going to Ho Chi Minh. A day before we were going back to Ho Chi Minh, I booked flights. 

My boyfriend thought nothing of it. He was a 'yes' man when it comes to traveling. He didn't know that a sleeper bus was available, cheap, and convenient for that same route. The truth was, I was dying of anxiousness that's why I booked the flight.

At this point of my life, I thought I was healed of my anxiousness. I thought it was a side effect of my depression. But I guess that's just how it is. A relapse happens. I will never be 100% healed, but I have managed to live more normally than when I had the depression.

Do I still feel claustrophobic and dying when I take the public transportation now? From time to time, yes. But I push myself. I take it one breath at a time.

Uzbekistan Postcard

 

Kyrgyzstan Postcard

My time in Kyrgyzstan, I would say, is life changing. The lessons I've learned about myself hit me like a punch. Writing about this now, makes me want to cry.

I will come back, Kyrgyzstan. I will be a much better version of myself by then.

It's true when they say that one day, you wake up, and you realize you want out. One morning, I woke up and I realized I had been waiting for 10 years. It's enough time to give up.

I'm the kind of person who doesn't have a beef with others. My life, when it comes to relationships, is pretty boring. There's no drama. And although, I am not the best communicator out there, I retain the "Hi"s and "Hello"s from time to time.

When I was young, I had this close guy friend. To be honest, I treated him as one of my best friend, but one day he just ghosted everyone. I understand it was a difficult time and he wanted to keep distance. I waited. A few years later, he reached out to me for a favor. And then nothing again.

For years, this has always been at the back of my mind. Until one day, I realized he really doesn't want a connection anymore.

I'll stop thinking about whys.

Maybe some things just doesn't require a reason. 

It just... ends.

I give up.

I think I should stop waiting for this friendship to come back. If he can just throw us away like that, I don’t think he’s a friend I would like to have again in my life. 

Goodbye.

Millionaire by 25

For as long as I can remember, I’ve always thought I have a good affinity with money. Even now, I still think so. Even my Bazi chart says so.

It’s no wonder how I eventually came to a conclusion that I would be a millionaire by 25.

I graduated when I was 24 years old. I started my formal job one month before I turned 25. In my first big girl job, I realized that salary was low and career progression was slow. And to reach a million, maybe even 10 years won’t be enough. Well, maybe it is if I scrimp on everything.

This slap of reality made me give up on that goal. I think it’s inevitable that I will be a millionaire and become rich. It’s just a matter of time and I don’t have to rush it. Just take my steps steadily, and be patient.

Fast forward a year later, one month after my 26th birthday, I flew to Vietnam and became a Dong multimillionaire 😂 It’s funny how the world works. I’ve been a multimillionaire in several countries since.

The picture above is in Uzbekistan where I’m a multimillionaire again for the nth time. Every time I travel and go to a country where their money is in thousands and hundred thousands, I am reminded of two things:

1. Be specific in what you wish for.

2. Life is what you make it to be.