I am not an Island - No man is

Are there any significant experiences you have had, or accomplishments you have realized, that have helped to define you as a person? --I was once asked this question...

And I answered:

One of the significant experiences I have had that helped to define me, as a person was the time when my mother left us to work far away.

I had to fend not only for myself but also for my sister. It was hard. I had to adjust to a lot of things… I had to cope up to the fact that my mother wouldn’t be there anymore when I call for her.

The choices I had to make were now up to me and only me. Gone were the people who would help me in making the bigger decisions to see which side of the fence is greener. I had to learn to face the world with less armor by that time. Most of all, I had to stand up on my own.

I made several wrong turns here and there. I stopped going to church, and if I did go, there would always be the strings of complains that followed. I acquired the bad habit of adding profanities in my sentences. I stopped studying diligently thinking that I would never catch up to whoever was on top.

In the end, I realized the need for a change. I never even realized that I changed that much until I was about to write this essay. I asked my father what to put in here and he just started citing examples. He said, “You know, I used to have to drag you every Sunday just so you could go to Church. And then one day, you just started taking the initiative of going there by yourself. The same goes with your school. You were never the sporty type or the politician type so every time you’d tell me you ran for something; I’d be surprised because I never thought you had it in you. ”

It was my selfishness and the discomfort of not having a mother by my side, which pushed me to go on a rebellious streak. I was too concerned with what I was feeling that I lost myself in my own emotions blocking out the people around me. I got comfortable in my own solace that I forgot that there are actually people out there that can help me. The truth was I did not have to face the harsh reality alone. I am not an island – no man is.

I did not change in a span of 24 hours; it took years to gradually change me.  It dawned to me that my parents were working hard for my sake and not their own. They chose to leave me not because they wanted to but because they had to find a way to give me a better life than they did. They wanted to give me a brighter future than what they had. Everything was for me – me who failed to appreciate what they’ve done.

In the long run, I realized that the loss of a loved one does not mean the loss of life’s meaning. Instead, it is a challenge imposed to see if we can cope up and move on without them by our side. These lessons learned are what made me become who I am today: a better person.