It's been nearly a year and I'm still unmotivated and stumped. Everybody seems to be moving on with their lives but me - instead of progressing, I feel like I'm taking a step back.
Every day, I would look at the words I put up my wall: 不怕慢就怕站 Do not be afraid of slowing down as long as you keep going. Everyday, I would remind myself that everyone grows at their own pace. Everyday, I slowly hate what I've become.
I've lost my passion and happiness is fleeting. To be honest, I feel like I label it as 'happiness' even when I feel empty inside just to convince myself.
One Sunday, a pastor talked about 'Love like you've never been hurt'. She said, "Do you know why you feel stuck? It's because you keep looking back at the pain, hurts and disappointments".
It's true. I am shackled by my disappointments with myself. I make myself feel like I'm not good enough for the people around me and most of all, I'm not good enough for myself. I see myself as a failure in every aspect of my life and I don't know how to pick myself up again. I try my best but I always feel like crap. I try but every decision I make ends up a mistake. I truly do want to move on but how do I take the first step when I don't have the passion?
No comments:
Post a Comment