My view from my window. Currently, I am at the Hong Kong Central Library. I am working and daydreaming... Daydreaming that I'm here for 'work.' 

As much as I love working on my business, sometimes I think about how my life would've turned out if I didn't go into business. I imagine two outcomes...

1. I will already be working for a company outside the country. I imagine, I'll be in Europe.

2. I am stuck in a big local corporation. I am good at my job, but I couldn't go up the corporate ladder. The reason? Office politics. I think I may be too vocal and offend some people.

Nevertheless,

I am happy to have come to this point in my life where I could live in Hong Kong if I wanted to. It's not a once in a lifetime destination as my 18 year old self thought :)

Secretly Anxious, Secretly Claustrophobic, So I Took A Flight

Two years ago, my boyfriend and I were on a trip in Vietnam. We were in Da Lat and going to Ho Chi Minh. A day before we were going back to Ho Chi Minh, I booked flights. 

My boyfriend thought nothing of it. He was a 'yes' man when it comes to traveling. He didn't know that a sleeper bus was available, cheap, and convenient for that same route. The truth was, I was dying of anxiousness that's why I booked the flight.

At this point of my life, I thought I was healed of my anxiousness. I thought it was a side effect of my depression. But I guess that's just how it is. A relapse happens. I will never be 100% healed, but I have managed to live more normally than when I had the depression.

Do I still feel claustrophobic and dying when I take the public transportation now? From time to time, yes. But I push myself. I take it one breath at a time.

Uzbekistan Postcard

 

Kyrgyzstan Postcard

My time in Kyrgyzstan, I would say, is life changing. The lessons I've learned about myself hit me like a punch. Writing about this now, makes me want to cry.

I will come back, Kyrgyzstan. I will be a much better version of myself by then.

It's true when they say that one day, you wake up, and you realize you want out. One morning, I woke up and I realized I had been waiting for 10 years. It's enough time to give up.

I'm the kind of person who doesn't have a beef with others. My life, when it comes to relationships, is pretty boring. There's no drama. And although, I am not the best communicator out there, I retain the "Hi"s and "Hello"s from time to time.

When I was young, I had this close guy friend. To be honest, I treated him as one of my best friend, but one day he just ghosted everyone. I understand it was a difficult time and he wanted to keep distance. I waited. A few years later, he reached out to me for a favor. And then nothing again.

For years, this has always been at the back of my mind. Until one day, I realized he really doesn't want a connection anymore.

I'll stop thinking about whys.

Maybe some things just doesn't require a reason. 

It just... ends.

I give up.

I think I should stop waiting for this friendship to come back. If he can just throw us away like that, I don’t think he’s a friend I would like to have again in my life. 

Goodbye.